It is written in 1 Pet 3:1-6: “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: 6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”
From the scripture above and so many others we know who is a woman of virtue and great worth before God. If our heart desire is to please God, it is important to also know the mode of conduct and way of life that please God and is acceptable to Him. Women of God are to be in subjection to their own husband (Eph 5:22) and not to any other man. This is clearly written in the Word of God. According to the Scriptures, the head of every man is Christ and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God (1 Cor 11:3). Wives are to submit unto their own husbands as unto the Lord. For as it is written: the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church and the Savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing (Eph 5:22-24). As we have been taught by the Lord, one major way a woman can show her love to her husband is to submit to Him in all things and not just by mere expression of love in words. She must strive to submit to him without complaining and murmuring (Phil 2:14) as the Lord has commanded. By doing this, she submits unto God and His Word if so be that the husband is in the Lord. The kind of submission that is required here is compared to the submission of the church unto the Lord as the Savior of the body (Eph 5:25-28). Now, it is lawful and right for the woman to submit to her husband in everything (Eph 5:24) but not in things criminal and wrong. If the husband is sinful and demands her to leave off the things that save the soul, she is not under obligation to him. Her God and her soul must come first (Matt 22:37, Luke 14:26-27). Obedience to the husband in all things is also based upon the husband in the Lord, loving the wife as Christ does the church (Eph 5:25, 28, 33). The Bible also commanded that the wife should have chaste conversations coupled with fear i.e. having an innocent, pure, uncorrupted, unblemished, faithful conduct and relationship with the husband in reverence, and having the fear of God (Eph 5:33, 1 Pet 3:1-6). The Greek word for conversation is anastrophe which means the manner of life, conduct, behavior, deportment, and every area of life.
Concerning clothing and appearance, the Scriptures reveal that a woman after God’s heart should adorn herself not in her outward appearance with lots of Jewelry, expensive apparel and making up of her face and in fixing of hair but rather, her adorning should be the ornament of a meek and a quiet spirit, which in the sight of God is of great price. Meekness is the disposition to be gentle, kind, even balanced in tempers and passions and patient in suffering injuries without feeling of revenge. Meekness helps you not to be provoked by others and a quiet spirit help so as not to provoke others and offend in word. According to the Word of God, these two qualities in a woman serving the Lord cannot be compared to the ornament of real diamond placed on the head of a queen. This was the way the old women adorn themselves, they were subject to their own husband having reverential fear for them such that even Sarah called Abraham lord. This is written in 1 Pet 3:6.
Apostle Paul also admonished the women in 1 Tim 2:9-10 wherein he commanded by the Holy Ghost that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.” The Greek word for modest is kosmios which means well-ordered, moderate, regular, or well behaved. Therefore, as the Lord has commanded us in His Word, even so we command you all: if there be any woman among you, let her apparel be moderate, regular and well-ordered not with extravagance and excessiveness. Shamefacedness means a sense of shyness, regard for others, respect, reverence, self-restraint, modesty or bashfulness toward men; not being bold or forward. To have sobriety is to exercise discretion; self-control; chastity; temperance and soberness. These are the qualities that please God in the life of a woman.
Nevertheless, it is not the total condemnation of wearing of gold, hair style and the apparel that the Scriptures in 1 Peter 3:1-6 and 1 Tim 2:9-10 intend. It is stressing the importance of inner adorning over outward adorning. Many go to the extremes and regard as sin all wearing of certain hair styles, finger rings, bracelets, and other ornament. This cannot be the purpose of the Scriptures cited above because the Bible did not condemn these acts as sinful in all the Scriptures. Neither does the Bible declare the use of these things as unbecoming to Christians. Therefore in this regard, the Scripture in 1 Pet 3:1-6 is in perfect accord with Apostle Paul who rebuked extravagance in ornament and garments. If we are to condemn all hair styles or all wearing of gold, then we must be consistent and condemn all wearing of clothing, for this is one of three things referred to here. It is not, therefore, the total abstinence from any of these things, but the proper emphasis on each that is meant. We are to pay more attention to the inward man than to the outer man. Not living primarily for dress and outward show. Apostle Peter here examined the holy women of old who adorned the inner man by being quiet and meek before their husband, but who wore jewelry and outward adorning. (1 Peter 3:4-5; Gen 24:22, 30, 47, 53). All these ornament came from Abraham and Sarah who were rich in silver and gold (Gen 24:35).
The world today is the opposite of what the Word of God says and some that claim to be in the body of Christ are living like the world, striving to be like the world in clothing and appearance. This ought not to be so, for we have been called out of the world. We are not of the world. This is the word of our LORD Jesus Christ Himself. Are these things not written in 1 John 2:15-16 and John 17:14? As a woman of virtue, you ought to live, talk, eat, dress and walk as our Lord also walked while He was on the earth. You must desist from following the ways of the world for as it is written: the world passes away and the lusts thereof but he that does the will of God abides forever. The ways of the world is the way of destruction and many there be that walk therein because they have refused the truth.
So please honor God's Word today. if you are a believer that strive to obey the Word of God and maybe your husband also is a believer but refuses to obey after you have reminded Him of God's word, then by the Holy Spirit you must submit to him so far as what he is asking you to do does not transgress the Word of God. It is difficult sometimes to submit, but God will judge your situation by His Word and His Word already commanded you to submit to him (your husband) in all things. As far as this, ask the Holy Spirit daily to help you to do so. You can do it easily if you allow the Word of God to abide in your heart and PURPOSE that by His grace you will not transgress it. It is written that Sin is the transgression of the Law which is God's Word (1 John 3:4), so then, do not sin. Sin hinders faith and lack of faith then hinders answers from God. Do not sin with the mind that you will repent after you have done it, for it is written that God knows the thoughts of a man from afar off and knows the secrets of the heart (Psa 44:21). So strive to obey your husband as far as it does not transgress God's Word. On the other hand, if your husband exploits you on this, Christ Himself will judge him if he refuses to repent. As the Word of God say you should submit to Him, do so in the Lord. Again, if he exploits you, Christ who is His head will judge him in due season if he refuses to repent. God knows how much you can bear and when you have borne enough in His sight if your husband does not repent, then He (God) will execute His justice..
If your husband is a non-believer, then it is a little difficult because what it means is that there is really no TRUE STANDARD in the home because he does not believe the Word of God. If this is your case, this will be a trial of your faith and God is in it with you. You must seek God's face for patience everyday for this is what God will work most in you while this situation lasts until the time come that God extends His mercy to him (your husband) by saving his soul and converting him. Yet still, you need to pray for this to happen. Please, if this is your case, you need to spend more time with the Lord so that His Word dwells in you ALWAYS because it won't be easy if you don't do this. It will be difficult and look unbearable. But it is bearable and can be done by the help of the Holy Spirit. Please cry to God if this is your case. Let Him fill you with love towards your husband and take away all wrath and anger in your heart. The Word of God cannot abide in you if you let these things remain in your heart. That is why we are commanded to renew our minds with the Word of God and this we must do DAILY. Therefore you must continue in the faith as commanded in 1 Pet 3:1-6 and perhaps by your deeds you can win your husband to the Lord. Please strive not to divorce him. God hates divorce. This is clearly written in Mal 2:16. Apostle Paul by the Holy Ghost commanded the following in 1 Corinth 7:10-40: Let not the wife depart from (divorce) her husband and likewise the husband the wife (v 10-11), If she (the wife) does depart (divorce), let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband (v 11), let not the Christian wife divorce her husband if he be pleased to dwell with her (v 13-16), if the unbeliever of the two (husband or wife) departs and refuses to live with the Christian, let him/her depart; in this case, the Christian is free to remarry.
Every woman that wants to please God should first please their husband. By being in submission to your husband you are submitting to God’s Word and commandment if so be that your husband require of you in the Lord. Whoever that does not submit to her husband in the Lord transgresses the Word of God and therefore sin against God for the Scriptures declares sin to be the transgression of the Law (1 John 3:4). Learn to be quiet knowing that a soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger. According as it is written: he that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction (Prov 15:1; 13:3). Women, keep your homes from the evil one knowing that every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish plucks it down with her hands. Be lowly of heart for with lowly is wisdom and pride comes with shame (Prov 11:2; 14:1). Put on the ornament that pleases the Lord. This is a meek and quiet spirit, and this is what the Lord our GOD commanded we should learn of Him for He said He is meek and lowly of heart and by this we can find rest to our souls (Matt 11:28-30). Be like our Lord and abide in Him for as it is written, whoever that abides in Him must walk as He walked (1 John 2:6).
Therefore desire to do all that we have written to you as we also have been commanded by the Lord. Love your husbands. Speak pleasant words to Him for they are as a honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones, knowing that a merry heart doeth good like a medicine but a broken spirit drieth the bones. Rejoice together in the Lord. Be slow to anger; and rule your spirit. Be the woman that pleases the Lord and a crown to your husband. If you desire to do all the things as written in the Word of God, request of the LORD in prayer to help you for it is written that it is God that works in you to will and to do of His good pleasure. He is the one putting this desire in you to ask of Him and He also will help you to do them. Be consistent, for by long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaks the bone. If you strive with all diligence to do these things, you will not only please your husband but you will please the one who is greater than all, our Heavenly Father. For what more does a woman of God crave for other than that she might please Him that has called her out of darkness into His marvelous light? Therefore, work in the light which you have received today and be the children of your Father in heaven. Grace be unto you. Amen
